Cadet: "Good morning Mrs M. Tickle your a**e with a feather!"
Mrs M : "I beg your pardon, young man?"
Cadet: (speaking loudly and clearly) "I said it's particularly nasty weather"
Mrs M : " Er, quite so, young man. Quite so!"
Mr M never once left the ship on a whole round trip to Chile and back. Mrs M "liked a drink", but her husband had told the 2nd Steward not to serve her at the bar; so on occasions she managed to acquire a bottle of gin and a case of beer and sneaked round to the Cadets accommodation. The case of beer was for "her boys" and the gin for herself.
In Valparaiso she came and asked us to take her ashore with us, as her husband wouldn't go ashore, yet again. We gave our apologies saying that the places we would be going to were not fit for a real lady. She said that was what she had come on this trip to see, and if we would take her with us she would buy all our drinks. Didn't take long for us to say, "Get your coat. We're just going now !" She had a marvellous night out, as did we. The girls in the bars loved her and she ended up dancing on a table in the Scandi Bar !
There will never be days like that again, Barry!
(You are absolutely right, Ian. Those were indeed the days!)